Me: I’m almost done writing this draft of my current novel.
My husband: This phrase, “almost done”. I do not think it means what you think it means.
Me: I do, I swear it. I mean, I’m not almost done in the sense that I only have the last chapter, but I really am almost done. So close.
Me: I think there will be 2 more installments.
Beta reader Jen: Okay.
Me, after the next installment email: Okay I lied, maybe 3.
As I write these last chapters, I’ve discovered I have no firm sense of how many chapters actually remain (sorry, Jen), but I’m not lying to anyone when I keep saying that I’m almost done.
However, it may be true that “almost done” means something different to me than it does to others — except if you were reading the completed novel, because you’d see how many pages and say, “I’ll come to bed soon; I’m almost done.”
The problem is that writing time is way longer than reading time.
But the reading time interpretation? That’s how close I am. It’s all in my head and just needs to get onto the page, which I’m doing as fast as I can, but I’m a slow writer, so that’s not saying much.
So, I pass along my apologies to all those who I’ve told numerous times that I’m almost done. I know you don’t believe me anymore, and when I finally post that I HAVE finished, you’ll not care a whit, because where are these supposed books I’ve written anyway, hmm?
They are almost published. (Go fly with that time proportion based upon my timeline given here! Hahahahhahahahahahaha…)
Because an illustration is always nice to support an argument, here’s a little Star Wars re-mix to do the job: